. . . Disclaimers & Other Legal Mumbo-Jumbo . . .

 
 

Above all, this web site, it's contents and especially those web sites and contents accessible via its links, do not necessarily reflect the thoughts or opinions of our organization, officers, members, or webmasters; nor those of our affiliates, associates, business partners, bankers, outside vendors, acquaintances, life partners, significant others, friends, pets or houseplants;

With that said, please take note of the following cautionary statements. There are only a few, but it's important that you know what you've got yourself into here. . .


Action figures sold separately;
Add ink or toner when low;
After eating, wait at least 30 minutes before viewing;
All models over 18 years of age;
All rights reserved throughout all planes of existence and non-existence;
All rights reserved elsewhere too;
Allow six to eight weeks for delivery;
Any resemblance to any persons, places or things, real or unreal, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental;
Apply only to affected area;
At participating locations only;
Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place;
Avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes;
Batteries not included;
Be careful what you wish for;
Be sure each item is properly endorsed;
Better not cry;
Better not pout;
Better watch out;
Beware in general;
Beware, alligators in moat:
Beware, cat underfoot;
Beware of dog;
Beware of dragon;
Beware of fine print;
Beware of lawyers;
Beware of owner;
Beware of shark;
Beware of strangers;
Beware, mortal;
Booths are for two or more;
Call ahead to insure prompt delivery;
Call before you dig;
Caution!, microwaves in use. . .persons with pacemakers should avoid area;
Caveat emptor;
Colors may, in time, fade;
Contest ended 08-14-1945;
Contestants may have been briefed on some questions before the show;
Contents measured by weight only, and may settle in transit;
Don't ask, don't tell;
Don't quote us on any of this . . . in fact, don't quote us on anything;
Don't try this at home;
Don't worry, be happy;
Do not disturb the animals;
Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit;
Do not place near a flammable or magnetic source;
Do not stamp, bend, fold, spindle or mutilate;
Do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law;
Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment;
Do not view if you have an allergy to shellfish;
Do not walk on the grass;
Driver does not carry cash;
Drop in any mailbox;
Edited to fit your screen;
Employees and their families are not eligible;
First pull up, then pull down;
For external use only;
For official use only;
For off-road use only;
For recreational use only;
Freshest if used before date on page or carton;
Gratuities gratefully accepted;
Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat;
If any defects are discovered, do not attempt to view them yourself, but return to an authorized service center;
If condition persists, consult a physician;
If ingested, do not induce vomiting;
If no forwarding order is on file and unable to deliver, return to sender;
If rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue use;
If symptoms develop, consult a physician;
Illustrations may be enlarged to show detail;
Instructions not included;
Just say no;
Keep away from bright light;
Keep away from cold;
Keep away from heat, fire or open flame;
Keep away from pets and small children;
Keep away from water
Keep away, demon;
Keep away, period;
Limit one per family or customer please;
Limited time offer;
List each check separately by bank number;
List at least two alternatives;
Listings current at time of posting;
Lost ticket pays maximum rate;
Many disclaimers look alike;
May cause drowsiness, alcohol may intensify this effect;
May contain a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients;
May contain cholesterol;
May contain peanuts or peanut by-products;
May contain traces of nut meats;
May have been seen on TV;
May be too intense for some viewers;
May not be approved for veterans;
Mileage may vary;
Monitor not included;
Must be of legal age or older to view;
No anchovies unless otherwise specified;
No boxtops or coupons accepted;
No Canadian or foreign coins or currency;
No credit cards accepted (yet!);
No dogs allowed, except those leading the blind;
No horses, livestock or farm animals;
No money down; cash due on the barrelhead
No passes accepted for this engagement;
No preservatives added;
No purchase necessary (but we certainly encourage it!);
No rain checks;
No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added;
No shoes, no shirt, no service;
No solicitors;
No stamps;
No substitutions allowed;
No user-serviceable parts inside;
Not liable for any direct, indirect, incidental or consequential problems or damages arising from anything, whether listed herein or not, any use or misuse, intentional or otherwise; or from any accident, alien invasion, asteroid, black hole, biological agent, comet, civil insurrection, disease, earthquake, flood, fire, forest fire, gravitational anomaly, hurricane, lightning, meteor, mud slide, nuclear explosion, planetary collision, police action, satellite or spacecraft, solar flare, terrorist action, tornado, tidal wave, tsunami, volcanic eruption, war or act of war, wind, and any other acts of God or man; or from antiquated hardware or software, broken antenna or marred cabinet, browser error, customer or viewer adjustments that are not covered in this list, damage, electromagnetic or other radiation, equipment failure or incompatibility, failure to maintain proper Internet connection, failure to make timely payment, failure to properly register, failure to read this disclaimer, improper or unauthorized viewing, incompetency, incorrect line voltage, incorrect wiring, missing or altered serial numbers, mistake, neglect or stupidity, or from incidents owing to airplane or other aircraft crash, broken glass, drop or impact, fall, falling rock, falling stock, flying saucers or UFO's, leak, motor vehicle crash, ship blown off course, capsizing, running aground, sinking, taking on water or wrecking or train derailment; or from projectile (which includes, but is not limited to. . . arrow, bullet, BB, grenade, knife, napalm, missle, rocket, shot, shrapnel, stones, torpedo, etc.), emission of Alpha, Beta and Gamma particles, laser, X or other rays, etc.; or from any defect, error, omission, or failure to perform as expected, or otherwise, now, in the past or in the future;
No other warranty expressed or implied;
No warranty expressed or implied, period!;
Not affiliated with any other organization unless such affiliation is specifically stated on this website;
Not for resale;
Not recommended for children or the faint-of-heart;
Not tax deductible;
Not sanitized for your protection;
Not the Beatles;
Not real;
Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear;
Offers valid only at participating sites;
One size fits all;
Other restrictions or limitations may apply;
Parental advisory - explicit lyrics; website may contain materials or graphics some viewers may find objectionable, parental guidance is strongly advised;
Penalty for late or incomplete payment;
Penalty for private use;
Penalty for early withdrawal;
Postage will not be paid;
Post Office will not deliver without proper postage;
Pregnant or lactating women should consult a physician before viewing;
Pre-recorded for this time zone;
Prices do not include taxes, shipping or handling;
Process promptly;
Processed at location stamped in code at top of message;
Professional driver on closed course;
Quantities are limited while supplies last;
Read this disclaimer;
Record additional transactions on back of previous stub;
Refrigerate after opening;
Replace with same type;
Reproduction of anything at this website, other than this disclaimer, is strictly prohibited;
Safety goggles may be required during use;
Sealed for your protection, do not view if safety seal is missing, damaged or broken;
See label for sequence;
See webmaster for further details;
Send a self-addressed, stamped envelope;
Send money:
Side orders extra;
Shading within website may occur;
Slippery when wet;
Simulated environment;
Simulated picture;
Simulated situations;
Slightly higher in outlying areas;
Slightly higher in some states;
Slightly higher west of the Mississippi;
Some assembly required;
Some equipment shown is optional;
Some of the trademarks mentioned herein appear for identification purposes only;
Smoking may be hazardous to your health;
Stay cool;
Subject to change without notice;
Subject to approval;
Substantial penalty for early withdrawal;
Substantial penalty for late or incomplete payment;
This disclaimer and all it's provisions are valid unless specifically prohibited by existing statute. If any provision of this disclaimer is ruled invalid, all other provisions continue to be in force;
This is an equal opportunity disclaimer;
This is not an offer to sell securities;
Times approximate;
Use only as directed;
Use caution when operating machinery;
Use only in a well-ventilated area;
Use other side for additional listings;
Viewing this disclaimer constitutes your acceptance of agreement with all its provisions;
Viewer assumes full responsibility;
View only with proper ventilation;
View at your own risk;
Watch for falling objects;
Watch out, for goodness sake!;
We have attempted to provide the forms which seem to be right for you;
Website, contents and links are provided "as is" without any warranties whatsoever, express or implied;
X-ray danger without proper protection;
You may sign without admitting guilt;
Zebras not allowed;
 
Do not write below this line
 
This notice supersedes all previous notices;
 
You may freely distribute this disclaimer
(but nothing else on this website).
Disclaimer must be reproduced in its entirety,
including the links below
and you may not make a profit from it;
 
Special Thanks are in order to Chris T. at . . http://hem.passagen.se/lejf/disclaim.htm

and to Rob at . . .
http://www.kumite.com/rsnbrgr.htm
for their pioneering work in the field of disclaimerology.

 
If you have a favorite disclaimer you would like us to include herein,
feel free to send it to us at . .
disclaimers@www.ringlords.com

 
Please note that we won't necessarily use it or credit it to you if we do. Deal with it!
 
last updated 02-29-2008
 
This website and its contents (c) (p) ????- 2008 by The Ancient & August Order Of The Rings tm, all rights reserved everywhere.
 
If any copyrighted material has been unknowingly posted, it will be removed upon notification by the copyright owners.